Scotland v Ireland: Bring it on!

There have been moments over the past decade when Scotland's national team have looked in need of a miracle worker.

It's premature to describe Gordon Strachan as that. But maybe he's getting close.

He's certainly worked wonders with me. A dozen or so years ago I walked away after one wet, miserable night in Glasgow too many.

I've returned sporadically. But tonight I'm not only heading to another rainy night in Glasgow, I'm actually looking forward to it.

Expectant. Maybe even slightly confident.

Like our last match against Poland I don't quite see this as a must-win. But it does look like another mustn't-lose.

And I don't think we should have much to fear against Ireland.

That's not arrogance.

They've got good players. They've got a decent manager. They've enjoyed some decent results.

But so have we.

The apparent similarities between the two teams suggests tonight could be tight.

The various subplots over booing, Roy Keane's Gardai incident, the fact that so many players are drawn from the same leagues combine to add another layer of intrigue.

Tight but also feisty. A sell out and partisan crowd. A wet night under the floodlights.

Hold on to your hats.

The reality is, of course, that we find ourselves in a close group, in Strachan's view the hardest.

No team - the Germans are a possible exception - can afford an off night without losing ground.

Ireland know that as well as Scotland.

Winning your home games is vital. A point for Ireland tonight might just feel like a victory for them.

Strachan v Martin O'Neill. Aiden McGeady v the Scotland fans. Roy Keane v the world.

A win would give either team a fresh burst of momentum as they look forward to next year's qualifiers.

For Scotland the promised land of qualification would feel that bit closer.

A tight game. One moment of magic. One mistake. One scrappy, sclaffed shot deflecting past a keeper. That's all it might take.

Bring it on.

And, unfashionable as the sentiment might be in these more enlightened times, "let's get intae them."

Euro 2016: Poland v Scotland

"Magnificent."

Gordon Strachan's immediate assessment of Scotland's 1-0 win over Georgia on Saturday was effusive.

And, if a 1-0 win over a team ranked outside the world's top 100 can hardly be considered the stuff of sporting legend, a lot of what Strachan would have wanted was delivered.

Scotland were positive, dominated possession, created the overwhelming majority of chances and seemed undaunted by the burden of being favourites from the start.

More goals would have been deserved - and would have meant a calmer climax to the game. But as Georgia grew more adventurous with the clock ticking down, Scotland just about coped.

Job done. If Georgia felt unlucky not to have nicked a late goal they were equally lucky not to be down by more than one goal.

Three points secured. And they probably had to be. If the Republic of Ireland's demolition of Gibraltar was expected on Saturday evening, Poland's win over Germany provided the first shock of Group D.

There's a couple of ways to look at that Polish win. It could make Scotland's ability to win plaudits but no points in Germany more painful. On the other hand on Saturday Scotland dominated a game without taking full advantage but were able to close out the win, something Germany failed to do a couple of hours later.

It's unlikely that the German's metronomic qualifications methods will be significantly disrupted by such an early setback.

Scotland will still expect to be battling for second and third with Poland and Ireland. Saturday might have muddied the waters, when they clear we can still confidently expect Germany to drift away from the chasing pack.

But that shock three points does give Poland a bit of a competitive edge in these early skirmishes.

Beating Scotland this evening would strengthen Poland's hand even further. That doesn't mean this is a must-win game for Scotland. But to lose it would leave us on the backfoot going into next month's home game against Ireland.

If Poland win and Germany beat Ireland then Poland move six points clear of us, with Germany and Ireland three points ahead. A point keeps the deficit to Poland at three points and - again banking on a German win - puts us just two points behind Germany and Ireland.

Just three games into qualification the former scenario would be far from insurmountable but the latter is much preferable. A win in Poland would, of course, be even better.

There's an extent to which the improvements Strachan has overseen with the national side and the way he's assiduously cultivated public enthusiasm might have slightly blinded us to the obvious. We took a look at Group D and saw a great chance to qualify for Euro 2016 - but Poland and Ireland saw exactly the same chance.

And, while the extended format of the tournament proper hasn't been universally lauded, it does seem to have added a certain vigour to the opening stages of the qualification process, as recent results for Spain, Holland and Germany show. It's not going to be a particularly easy for many teams.

How will Poland react to their first ever win over Germany? Hopefully the hangover will have lasted long enough to dull their senses tonight.

In reality we're likely to see a clash of two fairly evenly matched teams. Poland made Germany pay for not taking their chances at the weekend. Thankfully Georgia couldn't inflict the same damage on Scotland at Ibrox but it's important that we avoid such profligacy tonight.

Performances against Germany and drubbings of Gibraltar are all well and good. But the situation in Group D hasn't changed all that much - the team that gets the better of the clashes between Scotland, Poland and Ireland will likely snatch the second automatic qualification place behind the Germans.

Tonight's match won't be easy but it does give Scotland the chance to strike an important first blow in that mini-tournament.

A costly mistake

Group D looks to be Scotland's best route to qualification for a major championship since Craig Brown led us to the 1998 World Cup in France.

Saturday's match against Georgia always looked like a fantastic opportunity to get off to a winning start at home and in Gordon Strachan we finally have a manager who really wants to build a connection with the Tartan Army.

So you'd have expected Ibrox to be close to full on Saturday. Instead just under 35,000 turned up.

The hike in ticket prices must have something to do with that. Over £40 quid for the Georgia match was too much. £250 quid for a season ticket for five games is too much.

When we look to be getting it right on the pitch the SFA cock-up off the pitch. It's all depressingly familiar.

I've already paid for my Scotland Supporters Club membership this season and close to £90 for the games against Ireland and England at Celtic Park.

I chose not go to the Georgia match because I've also paid £405 for a season ticket at Easter Road. With Hibs kicking off at 3pm and Scotland kicking off at 5pm on Saturday it was impossible to do both.

I've missed one league game at Easter Road already this season. If Hibs don't reach the play-offs and I go to every remaining SPFL fixture I'll have paid an average of £23.82 per game to watch an average Championship team.

It would be a good idea for clubs and the SFA to stop taking the piss out of fans as quickly as they possibly can.

Scotland: Georgia on my mind

The new world champions given a fright at home. Six games undefeated before that.

A new tournament format making qualification for a major championship a less daunting proposition.

Scotland are being unusually generous in offering us reasons to be cheerful at the moment.

Today offers a chance to add some substance to the idea that Gordon Strachan might just be on the verge of achieving something with this Scotland squad.

Georgia arrive at Ibrox outside the world's top 100 (an altogether unreliable gauge but being outside the top hundred is never a positive). In the last two years Liechtenstein and Saudi Arabia, a goalless draw with France arguably providing the brightest moment of a run that includes 10 defeats in 15 games.

Strachan has mentioned this week that being the better team, having the better players, being meticulously prepared can all be meaningless if you just end up having 'one of those days.'

We've all seen it happen.

It can't be allowed to happen today though. While we were taking plaudits and no points in Germany, Poland and the Republic of Ireland were taking three points against Gibraltar and Georgia.

Just the opening skirmishes but it gave them a start on us. Ireland will likely build on that against Gibraltar this evening. If we can beat Georgia and Germany - as expected - beat Poland we'll be in fine fettle going into the game against the Poles on Tuesday night.

A win today would also mean any faint hopes Georgia have of challenging for second or third, in theory allowing us to concentrate on getting ahead of Poland and Ireland.

Won't be easy. Never is. And Georgia have bitten us on the bum when we've had high hopes before.

Charlie Mulgrew is suspended for being stupid but Strachan has a settled squad to choose from.

There are weaknesses, most notably at the centre of defence. Long gone are the days when redoubtable Scottish centre backs seemed everywhere and Craig Brown could jealously stuff them into each squad.

Elsewhere however there are, if not an embarrassment of riches, certainly a number of options. Will Steven Fletcher and Steven Naismith start together? I'd suspect not but it's another nice option to call on.

David Marshall looks set to start ahead of Craig Gordon. I'd take either in my team, the loss to injury of Allan McGregor just highlighting how well served we are for goalkeepers.

Scott Brown will return in midfield with today offering exactly the sort of game that he should relish, a chance to show his seniority in this squad and push the team on.

The signals from Strachan this week have suggested quiet confidence but no complacency.

Sounds good to me.

It might be exactly the right mix to beat Georgia. And after that? It's game on in Group D.

Hibs: Progress, points, profit

International breaks at this stage of the season always seem to give the impression of a stuttery start to the domestic season.

Actually the increasingly complex global football calendar seems designed to bemuse at this time of year: league competitions kick off while jostling with international weeks, transfer windows and early European starts.

But ours is not to reason why. And at least we can welcome back the SPFL Premiership in good heart after Scotland's win in Macedonia.

Points mean prizes and, with Scotland slipping to the bottom of Group A after the defeat to Belgium on Friday, Gordon Strachan would have been aware that he had to convert progress into points.

Job done on that front at least. Hope for the future as well with players like Ikechi Anya - who made it a special night for anyone betting on unlikely first goalscorers.

And what of matters domestic?

Points and progress have been a running theme of Pat Fenlon's time as manager of Hibs.

No matter how often he's defended himself by pointing to examples of the latter, his case has been too often undermined by an inability to rack up many of the former.

This week Hibs announced a return to profit after two years of losses. Given the disappointments and catastrophes of the last couple of years the most recent financial statement might just be the most impressive result Hibs have posted since Fenlon took over.

It certainly explains why Rod Petrie's moustache oversaw an unusually munificent summer - you might argue on the quality of the signings but 10 players arriving and a transfer fee paid for James Collins represent a reasonably significant outlay, certainly in the current climate of the Premiership.

The return to profit will please Petrie, he's a bottom line kind of guy.

But a football club as a business has two bottom lines: the financial and the sporting.

Petrie has been with Hibs long enough to know that sustained improvements in one area can only be achieved with matching success in the other.

Seventh place last season might have been an improvement but it wasn't the sort of progress Fenlon was employed to deliver.

And eighth place, five points and three goals scored after five games this season is not the return on investment Petrie would have wanted when he gave the go ahead to the summer signing spree.

All of which means Fenlon will continue to be a manager under pressure. But possibly not - and this might depress some people who suffered the misery of Hibs v Ross County - a manager in immediate danger of being emptied.

Why? Finances. If other teams continue to struggle, if Hibs can get a few wins and some of the new signings display more consistency then Petrie might just hold fire.

Easter Road's improved finances can at least in part be put down to not parting company with a manager in the last financial year.

With Fenlon's two and a half year deal running out next summer, a natural - and cheaper - end to the relationship is in sight.

It's not a prospect to enthuse but if Fenlon can negotiate the traditionally shark infested waters of the pre-AGM period this month, he might just stick around for the season.

Scotland: Kenny Miller retires

There we are then.

12 years, 69 caps, 18 goals and a final memory of a goal to savour at Wembley.

Farewell Kenny Miller, Scotland striker.

If the announcement of Miller's international retirement saw many of the old criticisms of his ability resurface, there was also a strong swell of appreciation for the service he's given.

His timing is impeccable. With no 2014 World Cup for Scotland he leaves on the personal high of scoring in his solitary appearance against England.

And he forces Gordon Strachan to face the remaining qualifiers without trusted experience up front. The manager might not have been ready for the immediate future without Kenny Miller. With no choice, he has to build for the next qualifying tournament. To the end, we could say, Miller has served the greater good of the Scotland cause.

The greater good. Servant.

Running themes of the tributes to Miller. The willing servant who'd turn up - in an era when not turning up is common - and give his all whatever the circumstances.

Often those circumstances involved him playing as a lone striker. Lacking service, chasing, running, waiting for the support of midfielders who often failed to arrive.

He did all that time and again. For seven different managers. Decent managers, bad managers, befuddled managers. All trusted Miller at different times.

Miller repaid them by getting on with the job, perhaps coming close to a public strop only when dropped for an empty space when Craig Levein chose 4-6-0 in Prague.

He saw off managerial changes as surely as he survived recurring episodes of public clamour when a new rival appeared on the goalscoring charts.

For a decade Miller outlasted Scotland managers and outlasted so many of those rivals for his shirt.

He never escaped the brickbats though.

His thoroughly modern club career maybe didn't help. An apparent 'have bank account, will travel' attitude might make the most of football's new opportunities but it doesn't create folk heroes.

Rangers-Celtic-Rangers swapsies also have the power to alienate large constituencies, often at the same time.

Then there is the simpler reason. That Kenny Miller just wasn't "Scotland quality."

He frustrated this writer often enough. He should have more than 18 goals, should be higher than sixth on the all time scoring list.

Profligate Kenny Miller, caught in two minds and choosing the third option. Kenny Miller, the non-scoring lone striker, enduring long dry spells.

We could never pretend that he was among the greats of the past. But he wasn't playing with great players either.

His decade as a regular choice coincided with Scotland's decade in the wilderness.

No major tournaments, some embarrassing performances, more than a few dire results.

Miller was part of all of that but successive managers saw him as the best of what they had as Scotland tried to get to grips with their reduced standing.

He could hardly be blamed for getting picked so regularly. And we couldn't accuse him of not giving his all when he was picked.

A decent player giving of his best. That sounds unspectacular but it's been an unspectacular decade.

Some good memories, some bad memories and very often little to show in games when hard graft just wasn't enough.

Kenny Miller's story has been the Scotland story for the last decade.

If the players he's now stepped aside for can harness their potential with Miller's commitment then the next decade might just offer more reward.

So thanks for the effort, Kenny. And thanks for calling it quits at the right time.

Croatia v Scotland: Gord almighty

It was a result predicted only by the deluded and Scottish Sun sage Kenny Millar.

Gordon Strachan conceded at full time that a win for Croatia was 90 percent certain.

Somehow Scotland made the most of their ten percent chance.

Percentages figured highly. It was, said captain James Morrison, a victory earned by players giving 110 percent to the cause.

Like Morrison I'm not a mathematician, but even I can see that our 110 trumps their 90 percent.

He'd wrapped a sound point in the cliche though. During the slump of recent years we've fielded teams full of hard workers but too often under George Burley and Craig Levein individual endeavour failed to become a cohesive collective effort.

Not last night. A team effort and a team win.

A meaningless win? Our qualifying race has already been run, last night was typically Scottish: glory when there's nothing left to play for.

Not quite. It certainly wasn't a meaningless game, Robert Snodgrass rammed a hole in Croatia's attempt to win automatic qualification.

This wasn't Scotland taking three points from a dead rubber.

It also gave an inexperienced squad a taste of beating a team ranked above them in the qualifying draw. The first time we've pulled that off since the win over Ukraine in 2007.

Only Alan Hutton and Shaun Maloney from last night's team featured in that 3-1 win at Hampden, four managers and almost six years ago.

When failing in the tougher games is all you know it becomes a hard habit to break.

A tangible benefit from last night is remaining in the group of fourth ranked nations for the next round of qualifiers - an anaemic measure of success but an achievement that prevents a hard task becoming even more difficult.

But the real meaning of the win in Zagreb might only become evident over time.

Strachan has looked frustrated since taking over as manager. Under Levein Scotland were going backwards, the new manager needed a platform to halt the decline.

What he got were limp performances from ever changing squads. The run up to the Croatian game was similarly disrupted by call offs but it also featured a fortnight free from domestic football, almost two weeks for the coaching staff and a young squad to figure out how to get the best from each other.

And if, as I mentioned before the game, Strachan's previous conservatism in selection attracted criticism he showed more flexibility here.

It's true that many changes were forced on him. But he appeared to embrace them and passed that adaptability on to his players.

He spoke last night of giving Russell Martin four weeks notice of his switch to the centre of defence. Morrison was asked to not only take on the responsibility of captain but also take on more of the defensive burden in midfield than he is used to.

Leigh Griffiths was fairly peripheral in attack but ceaseless in his effort, backing Strachan's decision not to send a late SOS to Canada for the experienced but rusty Kenny Miller.

Searching for his first win, Strachan wasn't risk averse. It's hard to imagine his immediate predecessors making the same choices or getting the same response from the players.

We should, of course, be wary of false dawns.

Strachan himself spoke of a performance that still leaves room for improvement. It's also true that Croatia stuttered when big chances came their way.

We remain second bottom of the group and we'll watch yet another tournament on the TV. There are still weaknesses and a lack of cover in certain areas.

What we might have seen is an evolution of the squad, players beginning to react to the demands of a new manager and that manager figuring out how to communicate his methods to a young squad, a squad full of players that will face our next qualification challenge.

Certainly Strachan has found his platform. He now has to build on it.

If we can have more days like this, of waking up to hangovers delivered by celebratory toasts instead of drowned sorrows, he'll be doing something right.

Croatia v Scotland: Gord help us

A two week build up to a Scotland qualifying match. Mounting excitement, ballooning optimism.

Not quite. More a growing sense of foreboding, a lengthening injury list, the challenge posed by Croatia looming ever larger.

That fortnight between the end of the domestic season and tonight's game always looked like it might prove problematic.

A squad already missing some familiar faces has had seven more withdrawals. When the players picked as cover fall by the wayside what is Gordon Strachan left with?

The game already looked daunting. Scotland are without a win in this campaign. Croatia are joint top and looking for their sixth win in seven games. We've only won six games in our last 22 competitive matches.

The experts at betting-news.co.uk will not be falling over themselves to back Scotland.

Much as I find the FIFA rankings an odd tool, recent form suggests the scores of team separating Scotland from Croatia's lofty top five position don't represent skewed statistics.

Strachan has spoken of the likelihood that Croatia will dominate possession. Hardly earth shattering tactical insight but a prospect that becomes grimmer still when you look at the lack of cover in central defence and the dearth of defensive midfielders.

It's also true that many griped that Strachan's first Scotland squads were too fixated on the conservatism that so infuriated his predecessor's detractors.

The manager might argue that it was a conservatism borne from a desire for consistency, to build a platform for a managed transition.

He'll be forced to embrace change tonight though. A new captain, a squad with a mighty 14 international goals between them, inexperience throughout.

Compare and contrast. Croatia have goals, experience, the confidence that comes from winning games and recent qualifications for major championships.

Their manager, Igor Stimac, said this week that "the Scotland team is a dangerous one. I will not allow you to take points from here."

A statement that straddles the fine line between the generosity of a welcoming host and the threatening demeanour of a nightclub bouncer.

But he'll know that - with Belgium enjoying a superior goal difference at the top of the table - a Croatian defeat tonight is unthinkable.

Just one point would do us. It looks depressingly likely that we'll need Stimac's team to show a collective generosity to their visitors for us to get even that.

Iceland, Macedonia, Liechtenstein, Lithuania. The teams we've beaten in qualifiers in the last five years. Croatia won't fancy joining that list.

Gordon Strachan would be forgiven for occasionally thinking that there are better ways to earn a living than this.

As much I hope for a pleasant shock, tonight looks like providing more evidence of the scale of his task rather than any answers about he's going to fix a broken team.

Tonight might just leave us all in need of a holiday.

Scotland: Strachan SOS?

An unusual consensus has settled over Scottish football.

The disastrous start to the 2014 World Cup qualifying campaign has made minds up: Craig Levein can't continue as Scotland manager.

A few dissenting voices remain.

Billy Dodds was one of them on Tuesday night. Using his BBC co-commentary gig to broadcast to the nation, Billy repeatedly told us that Levein was the "right man for the job, he's just not had the results."

That's not the strongest defence: "Aye, the doctor's a good bloke but his patients keep dying."

In moments of introspection even Levein might reflect that the game really is a bogey when Silly Bodds is the main witness for the defence.

Some others argue that changing the manager will change nothing. A limp reason that, conceding our crapness, accepting that we really should be bottom of a qualifying group.

I also believe that this squad is stronger than results suggest. Not world beaters. But better than two points from four games or three wins in 12 competitive matches. When that happens the buck stops in the dugout.

The SFA board will meet in the next few days to discuss what happens next.

Can we expect decisive action? Or a classic Hampden fudge.

I'd still lean towards the latter but it's difficult to see who Levein can call on for support, especially if there is any truth in rumours that the clubs might choose to use Scotland's plight to put pressure on SFA chief executive Stewart Regan.

Our next game is a friendly against Luxembourg in November, with Ladbrokes offering 13/8 that Levein will not be manager for that match.

It's 11/8 for him to not be manager by the first game of 2013, a February friendly with Estonia.

I would still expect him to just about survive through this weekend, limp past Luxembourg before being deposed early in the New Year.

That would give the new manager the Estonian game to prepare for the next round of - now sadly redundant - qualifiers.

And who will the next manager be?

Two former managers are frequently mentioned. Both Walter Smith and Alex McLeish are available, know the job and enjoyed some success.

I'm not sure going back is a good idea in football although Smith has shown a willingness to do just that in the past.

McLeish (12/1) has already hinted at a willingness to consider a return. I'm always mindful of certain commitment issues he seems to have.

He will undoubtedly see a situation that he'd be confident of improving but would he be concerned more by rehabilitating Scotland or his own career?

Smith fits almost exactly the age and experience profile that Sir Alex Ferguson argues are the perfect fit for an international manager.

But the Tartan Army is unforgiving about the last time Smith jumped ship and I'm not sure he'd relish the challenge of being the figurehead of not just the national team but of the many changes that the SFA is currently attempting to put in place.

Owen Coyle (10/1) is available after a bruising time at Bolton. But Coyle must surely retain ambitions at club level and I can't see much that would push him to the Scotland job at this stage.

At 14/1 Joe Jordan would be an emotionally powerful choice but I don't think his record as a manager stands up to much scrutiny even if his involvement as a coach would surely make sense.

Ally McCoist is also priced at 14/1 for anyone who likes to chuck money down the toilet. Motherwell's Stuart McCall might be a bit miffed to be outside McCoist at 16/1.

Dougie Freedman would be an interesting choice at 12/1 but at the moment I'd think there is about as much chance of Scotland winning Euro 2016.

Which brings us to the current favourite.

At 3/1 Gordon Strachan leads the field.

There's no such thing as a unanimous choice in football but there seems to be a surge of popular opinion in favour of Strachan.

He's spoken before about how he sees the role as all encompassing, going beyond simply managing the international team. A decision would need to be made within the SFA about how to accommodate those demands, how Strachan's vision fits with the attempts at modernisation that are already in place.

Strachan will also have a personal decision to make. Is the life of the travelling pundit worth foregoing for the pressures of being Scotland manager?

There will be an emotional pull, the draw of a fresh challenge. But there are negatives to this job, stresses involved in carrying the weight of often unrealistic expectation.

It looks to me like he is the man for the job.

But will he decide that this is the job for Gordon Strachan?

All odds from Ladbrokes #gameon

MacMiddlesbrough

What's up with Gordon Strachan?

Kevin Thomson has now become his seventh signing from the Old Firm since he took over as Middlesbrough manager.

Seven?

He's now resembling an elderly lady scraping together every last penny of an already stretched pension to try and feed her addiction to scratchcards.

Strachan just can't stop buying, convinced the jackpot lies around the corner.

It's a strange addiction for sure. The fear at Middlesbrough must be that it will also be a destructive one.

It's not fair, of course, to say that his recent trolley dash through the aisles of the Old Firm supermarket is anything other than part of his promotion plan.

His rationale is that these are good players with a winning mentality that will prove contagious at The Riverside.

So it's a brave plan. But it is a plan.

Can it succeed?

I've not been keeping up with the ins and outs elsewhere in the Championship. But it seems to me that he's taking a gamble. I can't see this tartan tinged Boro squad getting promoted.

I hope I'm wrong because if they fail then it will be another stick to beat Scottish football with.

I just hope he's finished buying now. Terrible thing to have to avoid the Provy Man because you've spent the last of your money on Kirk Broadfoot.

> Louise Taylor takes a look at Strachan Scottish signing policy on The Guardian blog.

Boyd Signs For Parmo

The Celtic fans and the Scottish media must really have upset Gordon Strachan. How else to explain his transformation into the Pied Piper, leading every Old Firm player into a cave that they can never escape from?

Or, as we know it today, Middlesbrough.

Of course in Hamelin the lame, blind and deaf children were left behind. Gordon's left us with Kirk Broadfoot. Sweet.

Like waiting for a Melanie Phillips appearance on Question Time it's always a treat to hear Kris Boyd speak.

Unveiled by Middlesbrough yesterday at the end of a protracted and ridiculously dull transfer saga, he opined:

"In Scotland you're playing the same teams three or four times a season and that gets boring after a while.

"The majority of people in Scotland want to play in England as it is chance to enjoy the best possible facilities and I had made up my mind that I was coming to Middlesbrough once I came back from holiday."

To which the only possible reply is: "Where the hell did you go on holiday? Kabul?"

He does have a point though. I suppose Rangers players might get a frisson of excitement from playing in Europe or facing up against Celtic. But Kris was normally completely marginalised or benched in those games so it's little wonder that the poor boy got a bit frustrated.

Still. Middlesbrough. Was he not being courted by Premiership clubs? Did Kayserispor not offer him mega bucks to join former Ranger Shoto Arveladze in Turkey?

Yes they did. But the chance to link up with Willo Flood doesn't come round all that often.

And nor does the chance to enjoy Teeside's most magnificent creation.

Is it a coincidence that so many SPL players are ending up in a city where the late night snacks are even more unhealthy than our own?

It can't be:

I recently found myself ravenous in Middlesbrough town centre on a Saturday night after a work assignment, and was directed by a zealous local friend towards what is by far Teesside's most popular fast food - a 'parmesan' (from 'chicken parmesan'), shortened to 'parmo' in general parlance.

The 'Meat Feast Parmo' I ordered for £6.50 consisted of a chicken escalope marginally smaller than a satellite dish, deep fried in breadcrumbs, covered in béchamel sauce and melted cheddar cheese, and then topped with pepperoni, bacon, more cheese, and ladles of creamy garlic sauce. The one bit of protein the parmo does not seem to contain is parmesan.

This extraordinary beast of a late-night 'snack' is served with a mountain of chips and the most sarcastic portion of salad you've ever seen in your life. As you can see, it filled the 12" pizza box it was served in. I ate a third of it with gusto, paused, came up for air, and suddenly felt quite ill. But I'd buy one again in a shot, however many placards my colon might wave in protest at this idea.

How could anyone resist that?

Gordon Strachan: The Parmo Piper of Riverside.

> Money: By hanging around at Ibrox for so long Boyd has made himself a pretty penny. But he's deprived both Rangers and Kilmarnock of transfer fees and add ons that they could both do with. How much sympathy you have for them will depend on your allegiances. But when you consider that Boyd could have set his sights higher than Middlesbrough had he left in January it might leave a bit of a sour taste in Govan and Ayrshire.

> I have tried a Parmo. Beyond words. Not a regular thing but there's something about it. I'd be happy to fall behind Chris Killen in the striking pecking order for the chance to have a Parmo forever to hand.

A whole different country

Gordon Strachan has not lost his fan club in the English press if Kevin Mitchell's column in today's Guardian is anything to go by.

His quick wit and popular side career as a pundit have given birth to a "Cult of Wee Gordon" amongst sections of the English media. His perceived differences to another famous Scottish manager have helped in this. Perhaps unwittingly he has gone along with the idea that he is somehow a metaphorical stick with which to beat Sir Alex Ferguson.

This ignores the apparent thawing of relations between the two men since Fergie let rip in his autobiography.

More to the point if there is a massive gulf in their attitude then, in any measure of their relative success, Strachan has quite clearly chosen the wrong approach. It is also a nonsense to describe him as a man who is not obsessed by football. You don't play Premiership football past the age of 40 without a dedication that, in more sane walks of life, might be considered a tad unhealthy.

The English media, as is their tradition, also ignore the detail of Strachan's Celtic reign. Within months of his appointment the much lauded sense of humour had been replaced by something crueller, more arrogant and far less endearing.

Refusing to talk to the press, falling out with and then shunning players, verbally attacking referees, moaning about the tactics used by other teams.

Not happy go lucky, not bubbly, not a healthy disdain for the cult of the football manager. More like Ferguson's Mini-Me.

Much of this has been lost on the English press. Thus they take at face value the Strachan claim that he left Celtic in good shape (little Gordon really doing his bit to help Tony Mowbray out there, by the way. All hail the manager's union). And some Middlesbrough fans welcoming their new boss can, apparently with a straight face, look forward to the attractive, attacking brand of football that he is set to bring to the Riverside.

Like Ferguson before him, Strachan has learnt how to play the English media and, at the smaller clubs he has managed in England, he has never had the intense scrutiny that would show up any chinks in his armour.

But the Championship is a tricky place, a frustrating place. Gordon Strachan has spoken a lot about his relief at being free from the football madness of Glasgow. But the stakes for Middlesbrough are high in a league that has broken good managers and bad.

It might not be that long before the English press sees that ginger halo beginning to slip.

I don't particularly dislike Strachan. But this deification always seems to carry undertones that the SPL was somehow undeserving of his regal presence.

Most of us non Celtic fans can accept that there were faults on both side in the marriage of convenience between manager and club, faults that would be plainly evident to any English hack who bothered to do anymore than cast a glance at the Scottish top flight table come the middle of May.

But if his four year sojourn "home" taught us anything it is that Strachan himself would be extremely slow to admit that he had ever done anything wrong. Arrogance and brittleness are not attractive traits and they will be no more endearing in the Championship than they are in the SPL.

A time to deliver

Tony Mowbray was being as philosophical as ever yesterday when he spoke about being a “performance” coach. Leave it to others to judge his team on “results.”

A jolly Corinthian approach for sure but one that doesn't quite answer his growing band of critics. Results matter and nowhere is that more keenly felt than in the east end of Glasgow.

A solitary point from league games against Rangers and Motherwell hints at a falling off of domestic form. Another single point from two Europa League games suggests that Celtic's continental dealings thus far have offered all the restorative powers of an 18-30 weekender in Ibiza.

New coaches, as much as great coaches, need luck though and whatever hardships he has so far endured Mowbray does not find himself adrift at home or abroad. An apocryphal “Crisis, what crisis?” quote might have crucified Jim Callaghan but Mowbray might glance at the league tables and offer a similar sentiment.

At this stage in both campaigns he is but one result away from topping the pile, well placed to take advantage of any slip ups from pacesetters who have no aura of invincibility themselves.

Time and patience, Mowbray would argue, are all that is required. For that though you need calm heads and everything that surrounds Celtic exists in a state of constant anxiety, emotions never far away from boiling point. To soothe the masses he needs results.

The visit of Hamburg tonight would be as good a place as any to kickstart the Mowbray revolution.

Hamburg looked like being the main force in the group before a ball was kicked but they were humbled 3-0 by a Rapid Vienna side that rarely looked much more than ordinary in drawing with Celtic the last time out.

Unlike Celtic the Germans did bounce back from an opening day defeat but the 4-2 home victory over Hapoel maybe hints at a defence that can be exploited.

To take advantage of that Mowbray will need to coax a more rumbustious performance from his charges than he has of late.

In talking often and at length about playing football the “Celtic way” the manager has been keen to convey the message that he is the perfect fit for Parkhead. He may well be. But he might not be the perfect fit for the resources he currently has at his disposal.

Against Motherwell Mowbray's starting 11 was entirely inherited from Gordon Strachan. Given that there appears to be a wide gulf between the tactical outlook of the departed ginger pragmatist and his artistic successor the players might be forgiven for paraphrasing Bobby Jones and Jack Nicklaus and asking why they are being asked to play a game with which they are not familiar.

New coaches, as much as great coaches, need the ability to inspire, transform and adapt. Mowbray's major failing so far is his apparent inability to stamp his mark on this group of players. He needs to find a way to do that and do that soon.

Discovering the alchemy he needs against Hamburg will not be easy and might need some brave decisions. A time to gamble.

The stakes are higher than simply a valuable three points. His honeymoon might have been short lived but if Mowbray can find some magic tonight he'll take a step towards making the faithful believe that he can be the man of their dreams after all and not, as some increasingly suspect, an embarrassing drunken mistake.

The chosen one?

Who's it to be then? The job may have lost some of its sparkle but its still a big chance for somebody.

The names in the frame so far:

Owen Coyle: Has performed wonders at Burnley after impressing with St Johnstone. A Celtic man (and how important we know that to be) but also about to embark on the Premiership. Spoke today about pitting his wits against Sir Alex and Arsene. Mixu, Csaba et al might not appeal.

Tony Mowbray: Got West Brom playing the football he demands. Got West Brom relegated playing the football he demands. The Championship is a fairly horrible place and the Celtic job might just have come up at the right time.

Mark McGhee: After the tragedy and achievements of last term has endured the difficult second season syndrome this time round. His track record suggests that longevity is not his number one trait so time might be right for change. Is it an inspiring prospect though?

Craig Levein: An interesting option. I can't think of a club and manager less suited than Celtic and Levein. A long shot.

Alan Curbishley: Like Mowbray might be more interested in Celtic than a Championship job. Reports suggest legal battle with West Ham are complicating things so some sort of compromise there might be necessary.

Steve Coppell: Out of work through choice. Unlikely to relish the unique stresses and pressures of life at Celtic.

Listening to English media tonight there seems to be widespread bemusement at the perceived treatment of Strachan at the hands of the fans. That might mean Celtic just now are less attractive to some down south than they might have been when Martin O'Neill left.

If we can rule out Coyle and we take the SPL contenders as outsiders then I can't get away from returning to Tony Mowbray. Time will tell...

Get real

At around 4.30 this afternoon Owen Coyle stood on the brink of taking Burnley into the top flight for the first time in over 30 years.

In Glasgow Jim Traynor was predicting that Owen Coyle would be a front runner to replace Gordon Strachan as Celtic manager.

Even in the insular world of Scottish football Jim's timing seemed a little off. Quite a way to puncture the Burnley bubble, the immediate speculation seemed about as appropriate as discussing who the widow's next boyfriend would be at a wake.

But there is another issue raised. It took Frank McAvennie, that well known Glaswegian intellectual, to point out what the essential arrogance that surrounds our attitudes to the Old Firm prevents Jim from seeing. Right now, claimed Frank, Coyle might well see Burnley as the more attractive proposition.

It is the best league in the world, with riches that Burnley could only have dreamed about. Or it is the SPL and a protracted battle with Rangers. It is the chance to work with players that have never heard of Burnley but fancy the Premier League or it is whoever will take the step down to the SPL.

Coyle might well follow his emotional ties. But it's not a foregone conclusion. Whisper it in Glasgow but the Old Firm have never been further from football's top table.

The story of Newcastle should be a timely reminder. The story had everything, of course, even the Bible makes do with just the one Messiah but there is a lesson well worth learning.

Throughout the travails the supporters clung grimly to the belief that they were a "massive" club. Too big to go down and big enough to withstand the grubby machinations of their owners and the failings of their managers. They weren't too big and the fans reality check couldn't be more painful.

Gordon Strachan realised the realities of the football world order and built a pragmatic Celtic team to survive in it. His reward was a complete lack of enthusiasm from his own fans. How many more falls will Celtic endure before the fans realise that wee Gordon wasn't a million miles away from be as successful as their new reality will allow.

Likewise Aberdeen fans seem to have found the lack of silverware delivered by Jimmy Calderwood to be beyond the pale. But history tells us that as the Old Firm march on to 100 league title between them, their SPL competitors are moving no closer to notching up 20 between them.

Aberdeen will win trophies only occasionally. The regular European place Calderwood delivered was Aberdeen's level. No, he wasn't a former player but former players haven't always delivered for the Dons. The idea being put around that Steve Coppell might be tempted to Pittodrie is proof of the wake up call the fans need.

At the moment the SPL gets more unattractive with every passing year and Scottish football falls further and further behind. Supporters have dreams and expectations and that is only right. But if the wild fantasies of the terrace begin to damage the club then the supporters need to get real.

Fond goodbyes?

Goodbye then dear Gordon. The reign ended as it started - that humiliating game against Artmedia set the tone, the meek surrender of this season's title will be the memory that defines the fans opinion of the ginger scamp.

Which is unfair. Three titles on the bounce. Six trophies. And, whisper it, further Champion's League progress than the sainted Martin O'Neill achieved with a far better group of players.

But the fans have never accepted Strachan and the unique pressures of the Old Firm have taken their toll - the wit that once brought Match of the Day riches has increasingly become a defence mechanism. The sarcasm that was once self depreciating has become aggressive. The end result is that Strachan leaves Glasgow a far less attractive proposition than he once was.

Will he find himself at Sunderland? Possibly. The pragmatism that he brought to Celtic is sorely needed at the Stadium of Light. But football fans live on vibes and feelings and the Sunderland fans will be well aware of the doubts that cascaded from the stands in Glasgow.

Time will tell. For now both Strachan and Celtic need to regroup. If nothing else the departure has been handled badly. The manager is said to have made his decision some time ago. That comes as no surprise and it might, however subconsciously, explain Celtic's apparent detachment in the last few weeks.

But a new manager now comes in with potentially tricky Champion's League qualifiers and having to play catch up with a Rangers team that will be rejuvenated by the promise of a European bonanza.

Celtic must choose carefully if they are to learn from the mistakes of the past four years.

Sticks and stones

Is Gordon Strachan right to be so annoyed that a besuited - and you would suggest slightly tipsy - Jambo called him an arsehole?

Surely he gets called much worse every week - often by his own fans. This weekend showed once again that supporters increasingly consider nothing about a player off bounds when it comes to shouting abuse. And fans visiting the citadel of bonhomie that is Celtic Park will be fully aware of the extent of the vocabulary Celtic fans can turn on when faced with the supporters of 'wee teams.'

So why the fuss? Was it because this was a fan who had paid good money? That's a bit naive, my experience of football hospitality is that the fans are better dressed but equally boorish.

Was it because this was a solitary fan? In which case is Gordon condoning the gang mentality that can see thousands shouting abuse at players and managers? And will Hearts look to take action against whole sections of their support the next time they call a referee an arsehole or, God forbid, worse?

Was it because it was after the game? I'd say that would be a bit unrealistic of Gordon. Emotions run high, and are unlikely to have simmered down completely only half an hour after the final whistle.

Of course maybe Gordon was just annoyed because he doesn't think he's an arsehole. Surely a subject where objectivity is impossible?

It all seems a bit of a storm in teacup to me, another in a long week of them. Another example of how Gordon's never been entirely comfortable in the crazy world that is life as an Old Firm manager.

Was it because this was a solitary fan? In which case is Gordon condoning the gang mentality that can see thousands shouting abuse at players and managers? And will Hearts look to take action against whole sections of their support the next time they call a referee an arsehole or, God forbid, worse?

Was it because it was after the game? I'd say that would be a bit unrealistic of Gordon. Emotions run high, and are unlikely to have simmered down completely only half an hour after the final whistle.

Of course maybe Gordon was just annoyed because he doesn't think he's an arsehole. Surely a subject where objectivity is impossible?

A Dismal Nothingness

Do friendlies mean anything at all? Most managers would say they're a valuable way of gauging a team's readiness for the season ahead. If they win. If they lose they'll write them off as merely a fitness excercise.

So who knows if they do mean anything?

But three events in Scottish football show that friendlies can have a far from positive impact.

Example 1

Peterhead 4, Aberdeen 0

A full strength Aberdeen humilated by their local rivals. This result is so cataclysmically bad that it can be written off as a freak, a unique conflagration of Jimmy Calderwood's worst nightmares. But it's an absolutely shocking start. Players have gone (some have bucked the trend and actually stayed) and the fans need reasons to come back. Losing 4-0 to Peterhead doesn't encourage people to come back.

Suddenly the start of the season is about as welcome in Aberdeen as the thought of a wet weekend in Skegness. Sharing a caravan with Jimmy Calderwood.

Example 2

Fulham 3, Celtic 1

Another bad result. In the long run probably one that means absolutely nothing but a crap result anyway. And, like everything at Celtic, nothing is quite as simple as it seems. Celtic have set off on a grand pre season tour to raise brand awareness/prostitute themselves to the highest bidder but it appears that at least some of the baggage of the last couple of years remains.

Allegedly Gordon Strachan was involved in an altercation with a Celtic supporter and had to be led away by stewards. Same old, same old. At least at Southampton the night before Stachan's name was chanted from the stands. Chanted by Southampton supporters, but it's nice to feel a little loved.

You'd have thought the drama, emotion and ultimate success of last season would have led to some thawing of relations. Not so, it appears. The Celtic job is like the Hearts job in reverse: Hearts have decent fans and a nutcase chairman, Celtic appear to have a decent board and mental fans.

Example 3

Hibs ?, Barcelona ?

OK so this game hasn't been played. And the minute Hibs took the game they lost all control and can't be blamed for the ticket prices or the venue.

But...between 8000 and 11000 tickets sold is a worry. Comparisons might be futile but comparisons will be made with the Hearts game last year - Hibs will not come out of that well.

Where are the fans? Voting with their feet, I guess. No signings, a new stand that the board can't seem to decide whether or not to build, problems, problems, problems.

The fans won't be at Murrayfield, they'll probably not be at Easter Road when Middlesborough and Wigan roll into town. But watch out for a large away support when Hibs kick off in the SPL at Kilmarnock. Rumour has it that a major fans protest about Rod Petrie begins then. Watch this space.

So friendly season continues to mean nothing. But for at least three SPL sides the silly season means getting off to the worst possible start.

Over

And that was that. The much hyped Judgement Day endeth. Against large, if not quite all, the odds the SPL helicopter has landed on the streets of Dundee. The streets of Aberdeen run with the tears of a hastily reworked treble dream that has crumbled into dust like that quadruple dream of only eight days ago.

The final battles were the story of the season. Celtic somehow know how to win. Rangers just lack the quality to take the final step.

Gordon Strachan becomes the first Celtic manager since Jock Stein to win three titles in a row. Will that be enough to secure him a place in the hearts of the faithful? This might still be the valedictory moment of a Celtic career that could have delivered little more.

Where now for Rangers? A Novoless cup final where Queen of the South will surely fancy getting fired into a team that looks dead on its feet. A team that is struggling not just because of fixtures but because the sheer strength of will that carried a mediocre team this far was always going to exhaust them.

Did Celtic deserve it? Does the league table ever lie? Difficult to know. We can say that all Celtic could do was storm down the final straight. Each Celtic victory seemed to have the effect of Kryptonite on Rangers' group of Clark Kents. Every faltering step that Rangers took the stronger Celtic's claim seemed to look.

And now that's it. A season that has been tragic, farcical, controversial and exciting. A season that has been short on quality but strong on incident. A season that will no doubt be falsely remembered as a classic because of the way the title was decided.

What can we do but look forward and wait for more of the same next season?

The Fun Finally Ends

How many times have fans wished that both sides of the Old Firm would lose? Well tonight they can. And that would be the fitting finale to an SPL that might have been exciting but has been low on quality.

Despite Rangers' Euro escapade. Despite Celtic's late fightback. Despite another final day reckoning there has been a dearth of quality about both teams this year.

So maybe if they were both to lose it would sum up the season for two teams that are pale imitations of their former selves.

Certainly Aberdeen and Dundee United will be up for it. Watching another team lift the trophy in your own backyard is a fairly shit experience. At least if you beat the team you can knock some of the immediate sheen off their jubilation.

Tonight will be a test for both Rangers and Celtic in different ways. If Rangers miss out then it will be a test of their resolve that this has been a successful season whatever happens. Are the two cup competitions enough? Will defeat mean the pressure is cranked up on Smith to radically rebuild in the summer? How much goodwill has Smith got to use up?

At Celtic will the board have the guts to stand by their man in the face of a support that has been resolutely unconvinced by Strachan? Will Strachan feel that his luck has been spent to its very limits this year and walk away?

Big questions for another day. But, for tonight, lets hope we get our excitement from who can lose by fewest rather than who can win by most.

What's Eating Celtic Park?

Life with Les Battersby didn't prepare Gordon Strachan for Glasgow

You’ve won the league and you’re staring down the barrel of a double. You’d think Celtic fans would be jumping with glee at the moment.

But now someone has put a stick in the spokes of their bicycle of joy. Ex-Celtic player Charlie Nicholas has had the temerity to suggest that Neil Lennon won’t go down in the history books as a Celtic legend.

Now this is Charlie Nicholas of the often almost incoherent punditry (which explains why he doesn’t appear in Colemanballs more often - they don’t know what he’s saying) and whose own talent was largely wasted by an attitude that once saw him proclaim: "See, four, five, six pints. That to me isn’t a real drink."

So why should the Celtic fans care about Charlie Nic? Because to some any criticism is a chance to play the victim card. Witness this comment on the Scotsman website:

"Nicholas is and always has been driven by his ego. He betrayed Celtic, failed at Arsenal, came back to Celtic as a badge kisser, failed again, ended up getting a job in the media and like most ex-Celts in the media, is compelled to be anti-celtic by the bigotted authorities just to keep his job.

"Ex huns get media jobs and maintain their bias, anti-celtic, pro hun agenda, whereas ex-celts get media jobs and turn against their old team so that they keep their highly paid media jobs.

"Nicholas, Provan, Walker, et al, you are a disgrace.

"As for Lenny being a legend...I will always remember Lenny as loyal, committed and commanding. He is, and always will be a legend. As for Nicholas, he is a snivelling little git."

As The Proclaimers once sang "everybody’s a victim, we’re becoming like the USA."

Unfortunately it is these attitudes that make the Old Firm so hard to love. Because any Rangers fan would argue the exact opposite. Enemies everywhere, you see. Behind the door, under the bed, everywhere.

And as Glenn Gibbon’s reports elsewhere in the Scotsman it is this paranoid belief that anyone from the outside is involved in some kind of anti-Celtic conspiracy that leads fans to shout things like this, overheard on Sunday as Celtic WON the title:

"Strachan, you're hopeless! Even John Barnes was better than you!"

Strachan apparently, for some fans, is not Celtic minded enough. Which means he beat Celtic with Aberdeen and grew up in Edinburgh. And, if you ain’t one of us, you can never become one of us. Go and figure that one out.

The best supporters in the world? Or a massive club with a generally decent support that contains a sizeable minority that need to grow up, get a life and give the whole victimised, conspiracy theory bleating a rest?