What snivelling wretches we have running football.
Michel Platini and his Eurocrat acolytes make our own dear Neil Doncaster look heroic.
When it's clear that the eyes of global football should be focused on El Broon Sauce Clásico at Hampden, they attempt to divert football lovers the world over with a sideshow in Munich.
The Champions League final. Pfft. A mere sapling of a game compared to the stately oak of a match taking place in Glasgow.
Who exactly are Bayern Munich and Chelsea when Hibs and Hearts are battling it out in the game of the century? They're nobody.
Anywhere here's a tip to remember as you browse your sportsbook review and decide where best to place your money.
Bayern Munich will beat Chelsea. They will beat them 2-0 and Chelsea will be absolutely raging at the result.
This game, and this will save you bother of watching so by all means just go and get steaming after the final whistle blows at Hampden, has been played out before.
For Chelsea read Leeds. For 2012 read 1975. For Champions League read the European Cup (a proper tournament that.)
Chelsea have an ageing squad. Check.
Chelsea hire a young manager who's enjoyed success elsewhere. Check.
Chelsea's ageing squad don't like young manager. Check.
Chelsea's ageing squad force young manager out. Check.
Chelsea replace young manager with manager who's enjoyed some success with an unheralded side. Check.
Chelsea progress through Europe's premier competition. Check.
Chelsea beat Barcelona in European semi final. Check.
Chelsea lose controversially to Bayern Munich in European final. Get a bet on.
The damned Chelsea? Written in the stars.
I mentioned this on The Footy Pod between the first and second legs of the semi final and I've been proved right so far.
And Jonathan Wilson put far more meat on the bones of the theory than I ever could for The Guardian.
Fill your boots.*
*Scottish Football Blog predictions often crash and burn.
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