But the televisual desert was a good chance on the tournament so far, which in my case meant lumbering Tweetsport.co.uk with my thoughts:
That set the tone: a Dad's Army theme ran through ITV's coverage of England's clash with the Ukraine.Read the whole blog at Tweetsport.co.uk - I'll be back there next to week round up the quarter final action and take a look ahead to the semi finals.
Summariser Andy Townsend threw in a "don't panic" as an ever more hysterical Clive Tyldesley commentary urged England to fall back and "dig the trenches."
Adrian Chiles, his extravagant Warsaw studio as removed from the action as Walmington-on-Sea was from El Alamein, flitted charmlessly from "we're doomed" to the naive optimism of a young Private Pike. Thankfully, or perhaps not, Gareth Southgate manfully resisted temptation and didn't ask to be excused.
We even had a brave, last line of plucky defence moment as John Terry hooked a shot off the line. Or behind the line. As the BBC's Mark Lawrenson, football's busybody ARP warden, exclaimed: "It's a great clearance from Terry but it's in."
Often just moronic, this was the night Terry became oxymoronic.
In the end though it took just a glance from the work-in-progress Rooney bouffant to secure England's passage to the quarter finals.
(Which will be Portugal v Spain and Germany v Italy. Almost certainly. Probably.)
Like this? Like the Scottish Football Blog on Facebook.